National Nanny Recognition Week Video

Brought to you by: The Association of Professional Nannies

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Regarding Nannies

Picky Eaters, What's a Nanny to do? Find out from ANDREA FLAGG (Co-Founder/Moderator of Nanny Alliance of NY & NJ) on REGARDING NANNIES blog.

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TEACHING RESPECT BY EXAMPLE

On July 26, 2009, THE BEST NANNY NEWSLETTER posted a article regarding to "Teaching Children Respect". Nanny Molly (our NEW Blog Writer!) has written a brief account of how she thinks respect should be taught by example and how we as Nannies must begin with ourselves.

(Written By: Nanny Molly)

It used to be that children should be seen and not heard. It was considered respectful if children kept quiet and out of the way. Obviously, times have changed and thank goodness! Respect, however, still varies in different households, among different cultures and in different parts of the world. You could say respect is a matter of opinion.

Personally, I feel that children should be taught to treat others as they would like to be treated. I don’t believe in teaching children that adults are more important than them. I’m afraid that is the message that sometimes comes across when we teach children how to speak and act around adults. Kids should be kids, but they should also know boundaries, guidelines, courtesy and kindness. All of these are key components of respect.

As a nanny, teacher, or child care worker, it is important to realize that children are children. They don’t know the ways of the world yet. They only know what they’ve seen and experienced. A 3 year old is not capable of telling you how much it meant to them that you listened to their fears or excitements. But just by listening, you are showing that child respect. The next time you need them to listen to you, ask for the same respect in return. Also keep in mind that a 3 year old has a short attention span. Accepting this and the way a child’s mind works is all part of respecting that child.

I was at work one day, cleaning up the kitchen while the toddlers had some unwinding time with their favorite TV show. There I was cleaning up their kitchen mess when I hear “snack please!!” coming from two raised hands in the living room; faces still staring at the TV. I realized they were only doing what they had been taught. They had learned that if they want a snack all they have to do is ask and I get it for them. But the way it came across was, “Hey, hired help! Serve us!”. I quickly took action and put the TV on pause. I explained to the kids that it was time they start helping themselves and me. We worked together to get their snack and then enjoyed the show after our hard work was done. I wanted to teach them self sufficiency, but also to respect the effort that goes into getting a snack.

As Nannies, we are expected to care for our charges, to get them what they need and show them love. I have never walked into a job where the parents have said, “Please, teach my children manners, kindness, self sufficiency, and respect. Please teach them all the important things they will need in this world when they grow older”. I have never been asked to do this, and yet, as Nannies, we all do this. We have to. We are the ones with these children all day and if we don’t teach them, there will be limited time for anyone else to teach them. I think a lot of nannies fall into the trap of feeling like the babysitter. We begin to doubt our self worth as we clean up the same toys every day, the same spilt milk, the same dirty diapers. But, what we may not realize is that these kids are being molded. They are being molded by us. Lead by example, begin by using manners yourselves and showing the children the respect they deserve. This is our ultimate job. Children learn by example and imitation and if we want them to show respect, we must respect them first!

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